Unfortunately, it has become commonplace to believe that a shouted argument or even a loud quarrel is the only effective way to express your opinion and defend your position. But there are other ways to achieve the goal. Many people sometimes simply do not see the possibility of surviving a stressful situation without using aggression. These tips are for those who seek peace and quiet and are looking for ways to solve a problem without scandal.

Monitor your emotions. Learn to control yourself and don't let others make you angry. After all, if a person succeeds in doing so, you lose the ability to control the situation and just go with the flow. When you react too emotionally to something, it is a signal to your opponent that he has found a weakness. Intuitively, he will use it every time a new conflict arises. The best way to defeat your opponent is to understand yourself, to understand what and why you are reacting so strongly. If you can overcome this, you will leave your opponent disarmed.  

Learn to say no. Demonstrate your willingness to give up unnecessary responsibilities in time. It's good to help people, but you shouldn't forget about your own needs. Before giving an answer, ask yourself the following questions: "Do I want to do this?", "Do I really have to do this?", "How much time, effort, and money will I spend?", "Am I ready to do this without expecting anything in return?", etc.  Be honest with yourself, learn to clearly define boundaries and confidently say "no" without further explanation.

Learn to stop talking in time. If your opinions are ignored and you feel that communication attempts are futile, it is better to just shut up. Yes, you want to get your point across, you want to be heard and understood. But stop for a moment and think about what your opponent wants. Most likely, he wants the same thing from you. Imagine the following situation: you are communicating exclusively in English, and your interlocutor speaks only Chinese. Would shouting help you understand each other better?

Ask them to repeat what they said. If your opponent makes false statements or unfounded accusations, calmly ask him or her to repeat the words several times and clarify the details. As a rule, when telling lies, people improvise, so if you ask them to repeat what they said, they have to quickly recall what they said. This can lead to confusion: the person may accidentally say "extra" or "different" and give themselves away.

Speak in a calm voice. Try to avoid shouting and other attempts to raise your voice, even if you are communicating in a noisy environment. A quiet but persuasive voice can attract attention and facilitate a friendly conversation. Your opponent will feel that you are a confident person who does not need to prove anything and clearly understands your position in life and knows your value. This will inspire respect for your personality and a desire to interact with you, rather than forcefully impose your own view of life. 

Humans differ from a pack of predators in their ability to communicate with each other calmly and consciously. When the situation gets out of control and your voice breaks down into a shout, think about whether you like yourself at that moment. Is this the only way out of the situation? Perhaps it's time to understand yourself and change your life for the better!